Faye’s Fables

It’s perfectly obvious to me that summer is over. Not that we ever really had summer this year. It seems as tho we struggled to get the old thermometer over 70 degrees. The lakes still had ice on them in July. Oh, I’m kidding. You can’t believe most of the stuff I write. Anyway, time to put away the shorts and sleeveless tops and the bikini. (ahem). See, now, that bikini is another of those items you might want to question the accuracy of.  I’m just sayin’.

A little side note here. A ½ hour ago I asked my hubs what he was making for supper (dinner to you people who think you’re so darn sophisticated) ‘cuz I was busy. He got a look on his face like he was actually thinking about it and said, do you want to go to town to eat? No, that’s all right I said. I’ll whip up a salad or something. So I headed back here to my best friend the computer and am typing away. The best thing about having a computer for a BFF is that you can ramble on forever with nary a complaint. (all my other BFF’s are depressed about the whole weather thing which I promised you I wouldn’t talk about anymore. So I’m looking for someone “normal” to talk to. Let me know if you think you fit in that category….) Well, after I said I’d make a salad, hubs came in the room and said “I thought you said you had work to do”!! Well, no, actually I said I was busy. Then the air turned blue and there was a whole bunch of stuff I couldn’t hear. OK, I’ll be back soon. How long can it take to whip up a salad? Never mind, I’m back. He’s washing lettuce! Who knew? God, this internet is great!

Now I can’t remember what I was talking about. Oh yeah, lack of summer and now it’s fall or maybe it’s even winter but I don’t know for sure.  Doesn’t matter. I don’t have any fall clothes. I’ll just pretend it’s winter, ok? With the change of seasons, it’s time to purge the old closet. There’s a key word in that sentence, but I’m getting there. As I’m pulling out clothes, I’m thinking vintage is good. Vintage sets a style. Vintage makes a statement. Sadly, vintage it’s not. This stuff is just plain OLD. Suppose I’d better check the shoes too. I’m busy rooting around on the floor and I feel a little nibble on my ankle – and no, my husband is making salad, remember? Sheesh. It’s little Baxter. “No, Baxter sweetie, mommy doesn’t want her little munchkin to chew on the shoes.” Wait. That’s the pair of hooker boots with the ghillie laces from --I was gonna say another century. Shoot, it WAS another century. Those boots haven’t fit me since I was sporting the Twiggy look. And if you don’t know who Twiggy was, you’re too young to be reading this. But, hey, that was another century too. OK, Baxter, have at ‘em. And BTW, speaking of shoes, have you looked at any lately? I wanted to buy some new shoes to fix the old “October Depression” which I’m sure is an actual disease written up by the USDA (United States Dept. of Agriculture. You didn’t know that?) In our nearby shopping Mecca, we do have a (as in ONE) shoe department. I searched high and low and I’ll be darned if I could come up with a cute pair. Is it just me or are they all ugly this year? A lot of them have the rounded toes and the strap across the instep. Seriously, those are vintage Mary Jane’s. I think they’re cute until I put them on and then I decide I liked them better on the display rack. And what does one wear for socks with those? I’m afraid I’d wear the wrong ones and make a fashion faux pas. (and I don’t want to hear any snide comments about farm women and fashion work boots. Don’t even go there.) And then there are the slutty shoes with 4” stiletto heels. If you wear shoes like that, I apologize for my remarks but if I wore them, I’d probably fall & break a hip! (some of you are laughing harder than others at that, but let’s just move along here. I don’t want to talk about it). And then there are all the athletic shoes and the earth shoe wannabees. But let me tell you girl, I saw the CUTEST pair of boots in a catalog the other day (which I’ve since misplaced. Or maybe the hubs had something to do with it’s disappearance?) How cute were they? $265.00 worth of cute!! Boy, I’d love to find those in my Christmas stocking. Or my stockings in those…..

Getting back to closet purging. I was really getting into it. Old, throw. Old, throw. Ugly, throw. Oops, too small, throw. You getting the picture? Stuff was flying and little Baxter was running around and jumping in the clothes pile like it was a pile of leaves. At this point, I know you can just feel where this story is going. And you’d be right. Just like good old Mother Hubbard, the cupboard/closet was bare. Nary a stitch of clothing left and on the floor it was only work boots and flip-flops. I thought cleaning would make me feel better. Sigh. You might remember me mentioning our 2^nd annual harvest from hell? Maybe I should watch the old budget and NOT buy a closet full of new clothes. Hubs might, maybe & accidentally  happen to notice that. What could I do? I had to start putting things back in. There, now my closet is full and when someone says to me (which they won’t) “you look so nice today”, I can honestly say, “what? This old thing?”

I made this dress back about 1966.  (Another century, right?)

I gotta get some new clothes!!

I’m just doing my happy dance here because I get to pass along information about a Quilt Designer Blog Hop called Cross Country Christmas This link will take you to the blog of my friend Kari at New Leaf Stitches and she will have the full scoop. 

The hop will run from Nov. 9th – 20th and you won’t want to miss a single day.  Seriously, this is one of my rare “truthful moments”…..

There will be a different designer featured each day with a free project or themed story or recipe from each.  Let me tease you with names:

1. GE Designs
2. Pieces from my Heart
3. Atkinson Designs
4. Pat Sloan & Co.
5. Anka’s Treasures
6. Pam Kitty Morning
7. New Leaf Stitches
8. Whimsicals
9. This ‘N’ That
10. Miss Rosie’s Quilt Co.
11. Rosebud’s Cottage
12. Linda Lum Debono

Even if you’re not a quilter, you just might want to tune into this awesome hop.  It’ll be a blast.