BRAD PITT

I might have mentioned the other day that I was having a Good Hair Day?  And it hasn’t, to my deepest sorrow, happened again.  After all, lightening doesn’t strike twice and all that.  But here’s the “rest of the story”.  (I shoulda been Paul-ette Harvey.  Get it? Oh, Botheration.)  Anyway.

I only mentioned Brad Pitt in the title because you know I was expecting him to come a callin’ during my Good Hair episode.  What actually happened was that I did go to town – stricly because we were out of milk.  While in the store, I did not run into anyone I knew.  Neither friend, nor foe nor Pastor.  Walked up & down every aisle (looking for milk).  No one took a 2nd look.  When I got to the check-out I figured that now for sure the checkout person would be struck with the perfect-ness of my “do”.  The only thing she said was:  “paper or plastic”?  The whole experience was kind of a downer and yet on a Good Hair Day it is impossible to have a Bad Day.  You hear me Sister?

I rather dejectedly headed for home.  But of course I still had the visit from Brad or Cameron to look forward to, right?  Cheerfully now, the miles just flew by as I thought about what I’d say when I opened the door.  (it’s easy to get tongue-tied by their total handsomeness if you’re not prepared.)  I had any number of clever & witty things I could say but I didn’t have a paper & pen to jot them down.  (mental-pause you know). 

But wait.  Lo & behold who’s in that car leaving my yard just as I’m pulling in?  Brad/Cameron is here already?  What if a hair has shifted out of place?  OMG.  What to do, what to do?  No, wait, I just remembered the electrical inspector intended to stop in today.  Oh, great, this’ll be fun…….some old guy with a bald head, and beer belly. 

Never assume ladies.  As we stopped our cars for a little chatty-poo, I realized that Mr. Baldy had morphed into Mr. Hunk.  Lean, angular face, nice tan, 5 o’clock shadow and (Brad Pitt) sunglasses.  To tell you the truth, on a scale of 1 to 10, he was a 12 on my hunk-o-meter.  As we chatted, I turned my head slightly so he would get the full effect of my hair.  Possibly he was looking for someone 20 years younger, 150,000 pounds lighter and SINGLE, or maybe he just didn’t notice my hair.  Whatever.  Conversation over.  He drove away.  Brad/Cameron never showed and I didn’t see anyone the rest of the day. 

I can only say that the whole experience has been very unsettling.  So unsettling in fact that I’ve decided not to even TRY to have another Good Hair Day until I recover from this one…………….I’d better not shampoo my hair for a few days just to be safe, huh?

This story is true.  The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Ms. Faye

One of Life’s Connundrums…….

OK you caught me.  I’m having a good hair day. 

BUT, why is it that when you’re having a good hair day (and it doesn’t happen to me all that often!), you have nowhere to go and no one sees you?  Except your husband and lord knows he’s not likely to notice.    I mentioned this question to Mr. Picket Fence at lunch today and he said, “actually I did notice you hair was nice today”.  To which I replied “thanks for not sharing that thought with me”……

Has this ever happened to you?  Well, of course it has.  What do I do now?  If I go outside, I’ll ruin my hair in the breeze.  If I stay in the house I’m taking a big risk that no one will pop in.  I don’t know Brad Pitt, Cameron Mathison or any other hunky movie star.  And Lord knows, I don’t want to be a home wrecker but I gotta tell you that if one of those guys stops at my house today, he’ll take one look at my hair and say, hey sweetie, wanna go out for an adult beverage?  And it will snowball from there & pretty soon you’ll read in the tabloids about this old woman in Minnesota who’s short, fat, ugly and well, old……..who has broken up (fill in name here)’s marriage. 

There’s only so much pressure I can handle.  You hearing me sister? 

Now I don’t want any of you people that I know personally to stop over today.  ‘Cuz I’m thinking YOU’D be thinking:  HUH?  That’s nice?  Well, I think it’s nice and that’s all that counts. 

I think I’ll go to town which is only a quick 25 mile round trip.  We’re out of milk…………….